Thank you to Katie Topping, Curator in Chief at Spirit and Grace, for allowing us to share this blog.


Katie Topping

Morning all, I received a really lovely compliment this morning and it gave me a fantastic start to the day, it also got me thinking….do we compliment each other enough?

It is easy to assume that other people know what their strengths are, but most of us are less sure of these things than we tend to admit I think giving people compliments is great, and most of us don’t do anywhere near enough of it., and giving someone a piece of ‘genuine’, positive feedback is so simple to do and can make an impact on someone’s day and put a spring in their step.

To ‘compliment’ means to show kindness, praise, congratulate or say something admiring to someone.

Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses.

Joyce Meyer

However, if we really want to make an impact, we need to focus on genuine, authentic compliments, ones that look beneath the surface, into the soul of the individual, rather than telling someone what we think they want to hear, we should tell them what we genuinely think is unique about them.

Delving deeper into the different types of compliments, think the compliments you have received recently, have they been genuine compliments about you as an individual or have they been based on your material attire?

For example, these latter types of ‘compliments’ are not something I refer to as genuine compliments, although, they are still lovely to receive:

“I love your dress, where did you get it from?”

“Those shoes look great on you!”

“Wow! Your coat looks so warm, I need one like that!”

The former is more ‘genuine’ in nature, it feels warmer and nourishes, as it addresses the individual; their soul, appreciating and respecting them, who they are & what they stand for rather than the objects:

“You are so thoughtful.”

“You are such a creative person, you inspire me.”

“You exude such confidence.”

We know how great it is to receive a compliment. But did you know that you giving a genuine compliment also helps you feel happier? And giving someone a genuine compliment is one of the easiest ways to practice kindness!

Telling someone, with a smile, that they have eyes that sparkle, will increase and enhance your sense of self-worth. When you go out of your way to say something nice and give thoughtful praise to another person, it amplifies your self-confidence, well-being and nourishes your self-esteem.

On the flipside, if you receive a compliment, remember that this is a gift to you, accept it graciously, with a smile. It takes confidence to give a compliment, so, don’t devalue the gift by playing it down. Simply saying “Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say” is enough.  Imagine if you truly listened to and absorbed the positive things people say to you. Oddly, accepting compliments is a skill and maybe by internalizing them, we can turn them into our secret superpower.

When was the last time you were given the gift of a compliment? Would you be willing to share it with us?  Add it to the comments below & put a smile on my face today.

Thank you

Katie x